Encouragement for the Mother at Home (when society tells you, you’re doing it wrong.)

In today’s video, I wanted to give some encouragement to Stay at Home Mamas

I received several notes from young mothers who tell me that it is discouraging because even though they know they are doing the right thing for their family- society seems to be giving them a different message.

It’s mind-boggling to me that someone would even think about telling a mother (who chooses to stay at home instead of going back to work) that she is wasting her life or degree because she wants to say at home.  It is the most natural thing in the world for a woman to want to remain with her baby.  Wild animals do it.  Why is it questioned when a human being does it?

Well, I have some tips for you if you feel discouraged by friends, family, and society about your decision to be a stay at home mom.

And I also want to encourage you by saying; You’re not the first to feel this way.  I say that because it helps when you learn that this is nothing new,  and many other women feel the same.  I used to get discouraged, and all of my friends did too, and I don’t ever want you to feel like you’re the lone ranger.

  1. Read good books to encourage and uplift your decision.  Books about motherhood by Sally Clarkson, Karen Andreola, Nancy Cambell, Dr. Laura Schlesenger, and Lorrie Flemm are a few that I would recommend.
  2. Set boundaries with the people in your life who are discouraging.

If you have friends or family who are negative and say things to you like, “you are wasting your career and degree!” Set them down and every so politely say, “Thank you, but your opinion means nothing tome.”
or if that seems too harsh; flat out say something to them. … in a gentle way, of course.  
I have found that people will continue to talk to you that way as long as you allow it.  If you don’t say something, you might eventually explode and cause an ugly scene.

SO if they are a family member or close friend, set them down, have a face-to-face talk and tell them that this is YOUR decision and please never say anything to me about it again.

3. Move; I know this is drastic and not feasible for everyone, but it will save your sanity and make your life happier.

Seriously, if you have to move out to a tar paper shack in the middle of a field.  Move.  We had a neighbor once who was incredulous each time I was expecting, saying, “You’re pregnant again!” don’t you know what causes that?  Then when our oldest was four, she asked why he wasn’t in preschool.    When I told her we were going to homeschool him, she went nuts and said we were crazy.  Thank goodness my husband changed jobs that year, and we moved

4. Find groups of like-minded moms.  I know that is not the easiest thing to do, but if you could find a MOPS (mother of preschoolers ) at a local church to join or a joint interest group, they are lifesavers.  One small thought about that. Don’t give up if the first group isn’t your cup of tea.  I went to 5 different social groups before I found the right fit.  So keep trying.

5.Finally, don’t give in to peer pressure.  This is YOUR life and your family. Don’t let someone else’s opinion cause you to live differently.